I'm here. The world has been frozen for days. I look out any window and see a haze of white. We rarely get snow but a good week or so of hard freezes are not unusual. I've been letting the hens out of their fenced in area to let them roam the cold acres and find whatever winter grub they can scratch up. They usually huddle together in some sun somewhere. Yesterday we lost one of our oldest and most favorite girls to a roaming dog. Found him later up the dirt road munching on a pile of dog food someone dumped for him on the edge. He was already plump and well fed and I imagine he has a warm bed somewhere near a woodstove that he wandered from. He and I both prefer that he find that bed and stay there.
When I feel like some sort of illness is knocking on my door, I like to bundle up and take deep breaths of the outside. A head cold seems to want in and, being one who isn't much into surrendering to any such thing, I put on boots, a big, puffy, green coat and went outside to wander in the cold sunshine and suck the air hard into my nose. (To then come back inside and stick my head over a steaming kettle of mint water, breathing the hot germ-killing steam up into my brain). 
Outside I looked for nothing in particular but did see much. We have our fair share of little piles of wood and garden tools and buckets and fencing and the like all over this piece. They are orderly piles, but they are piles nontheless. I rediscovered 8 concrete pilasters that will be perfect for a window installation somewhere along the way.
The first installation has been in for a few days now. It's been fun driving by...looking at the lights and the gifts. It is a relatively simple installation - a good way to start when dipping one's toes in the water. There are so many things that we can only learn as we go. Like how far the lights need to be from the wall. What wattage. What color works for the installation walls AND the exterior paint color. All those kinds of things. 
Theman and I just celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary and 16th "together" anniversary. He totally wins my over (again and again) when he helps me do artsy stuff. I just stand back and stare like I've forgotten my name. "Mrs. Him" is good enough for me right then.
The window is in part of a reflection of where my head has been lately. I have been focused lately on the concept of unreasonable happiness. You know, where you are just happy because. Not because of... I've been thinking about what blooms naturally from the fertile soil of a heart that is happy and thinking of what a profound and bless-ed gift it is to everyone else when one just IS happy. Happy. Such a simplistic word often tossed aside for more sophisticated words and concepts. Surely life can't be so simple as to just choose happiness...? Call me crazy (or Sue or Bill or whatshername) but I say it's worth the effort to test the theory. I suspect it will take 80-95 years to know for sure.
I can dream up all sorts of world-saving ideas and am getting less and less suprised when my thoughts that are thrown out all end up boomeranging to the condition of my own heart. Pride is never kind and so I work to solve all the world's problems by working on my own heart healing. I love what Steve Martin says...."There is no harm in charging oneself up with delusuions between moments of valid inspiration." Mostly I don't know which is which so I just let it all swirl about on my to do list. I'm thinking of starting a "to be" list too. I'd love to be "without guile" like my dear friend, Jenny, who is supportive, funny, kind, encouraging, sassy, and the first to be willing to help with a crazy idea like The Affirmation Project. You'll see more of her work included in the coming installations. 
Here is the full installation. Mostly it's a glow of light that can be seen from a car better than it is showing up in this picture.
It reads:
"Because there is uncertainty in the world, your optimism is a gift. Because there is sadness, your hope is a gift.
Because there is busyness in the world, your smile is a gift. Because there is fear, your LOVE is a gift."
It felt like a good thing to say this time of year.
I keep having to pull myself back in to the present moment of just enjoying what we've worked towards these many weeks because as is the norm with these kinds of things, I'm already thinking about the next one. Brush up on your love-letter writing skills. I'm going to put out and call for them soon.
Maybe if you listen to this while you write, you'll tap into some deep water vein of truth telling that will spill out authentic and melodic like old timey banjo music. (This talent is none other than the incredible Darren Jahn, owner of the local Ace Hardware who donated the materials for the walls of our window installation. I've ordered a copy of his original music as well as one for a Christmas present. Funny the things you learn about people when you start talking about what you are passionate about and it resonates with what they are passionate about in some way.)
