It's been three days and I'm still "hungover". How anyone can add actual alcohol to their systems for a gig like that is beyond me because even me, without a single drop of it having gone in my body, am totally and completely smashed. My spine is rigid. My head is thick. I just want to sleep. I'm in serious need of emotional and physical restoration. Working on it...slowly but surely.
The wedding is done and we are working our way back to life as we knew it before. Lots of work went into it by many hands and I learned alot about myself and other people in the process. It's all good to know. I won't even BEGIN to go into it here because I realize now that I do not write to an empty room like I used to. We (our little family) are all too connected in the oddest of technological ways and I admit that I'm still trying to get my bearings with how to manage all that. :)
Three days of setting up tents, hanging lights, scrubbing tables, moving furniture, not drinking enough water, setting a scene, changing the scene, changing it again. I could go on and on. Saturday morning theman got in a tangle with a little hillside here at the house and tore his calf muscle and possibly a tendon or two. Bad mojo...but he was still able to walk Nikita down the isle and boy did he look handsome! Growl.
There was snow at the site the morning of the wedding but by ceremony time, the sky had cleared, the ground was dry, and we were all freezing cold. I'm pretty sure the temperature was hovering below 30 degrees. I opted for layers to stay as warm as possible, unlike the summer-ly dressed bridal party, with the effect being that my already generously padded frame looked even more padded. When you're in a crowd of stunning figures in such a situation, it's best to avoid any reflective surface so you forget. Not that I really gave a hoot when it came down to it. :) One of these days I hope to get my hands on some pictures but for now, the very few I took when I remembered will have to do.
On Saturday afternoon I ducked into the garage and put all the flowers together with just me an my man to keep me company. I'm in my element when I'm doing that. I was given carte blanche. Mostly. When the actual ceremony took place, I didn't shed a tear. That, my friends, is the 8th wonder of the world because I can cry at the drop of a heart-string-tugging tv comercial. I'm not sure why I remained dry eyed - maybe it was the build up, maybe it was the cold, maybe it was the fact that I felt, in many ways, a bit disconnected from certain aspects of the moment. They stood over the pond, candles all under, behind, and above them and they stood in silhouette to it all. Regardless, I was still very aware that this was my man's first born embracing her own life to the fullest. It's not easy to lay claim to love when not everyone understands the love {I know that first hand} and she is doing it beautifully.
I suspect that much of what my body is feeling now is the residue of the emotional energy that consumed every move I made, every light I hung, every word I thoughtfully chose, every hug I gave, every agreement I kept, every task I had to prioritize, every hair on my head that I tried to make presentable (epic fail), every mantra I repeated to myself to remember the reason I was doing what I was doing, even in what I'm not saying in this very moment. I need a three day nap. Family is big business and if you manage yourself poorly, you'll drag the whole lot through the mire thinking you run the show. Thankfully, there is a lot of love in the midst of it all. No doubt it is what carries us all through. I've been with theman for almost 17 years and that means I've also been with his kids and former wife for just as long. There have been some pretty intense moments over the years, I've made some hefty mistakes and have done so much work in the quiet of my own heart as has everyone else to various degrees. We're all just doing our thing, wanting nothing but the best for each other ultimately. Good stuff.
Congratulations, Nikita and Ri. May we all be blessed by your relationship and may the love you two have for each other bring you to living from the center of your most beautiful, radiant selves.
ox
Great post, I can't wait to see more pictures. It's looks like a beautifully styled wedding and Nikita is gorgeous!
Posted by: KarynJewels | February 28, 2012 at 03:07 PM
We will be hosting our son's wedding here on our farm September 1.
I hope I will be as calm and loving as you, on September 2nd. xo
Posted by: Jen Worden | February 28, 2012 at 04:25 PM
That, Miss Stephanie, is the most heartfelt of posts on this auspicious occasion! What adorable little people they were! What an adorable couple they make! The flowers are beautiful and I can't wait to see more!
Enjoy the day!
Erin
Posted by: Erin Prais-Hintz | February 28, 2012 at 09:49 PM
I can't wait to see more pictures! The flowers are beautiful! The emotional hangover will go away...eventually. :)
Hang in there!
Posted by: dorylyn | February 29, 2012 at 04:06 AM
I love you Stephanie. I cried when i read this beautiful post. I will never be able to thank you enough for everything you did to make that day so perfect for us. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!
Posted by: Nikita Konetski | March 01, 2012 at 05:22 PM
You may not have cried at the wedding, but your reflections of the day has me moved to tears. Thank you so much for sharing.
JOY!
Posted by: Joy Bayer | March 02, 2012 at 10:20 AM
lovely flowers stephanie...everything you touch becomes a work of art!
rochelle
Posted by: Rochelle | March 06, 2012 at 11:29 AM
wow, beautiful piece, Stephanie!
Your expressions, photos :) , every element was put together so beautifully and seemed so organized and at the same time, spontaneously composed!?! So congratulations to all and may you continue to wow me! love, Debbie
Posted by: Debbie Sheegog | March 15, 2012 at 07:40 AM