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April 05, 2014


Thank you Stephanie! As someone who has "been generously gifted with genetic fat pockets under their eyes", I can relate to this. I just wish the look of my face more truthfully reflected the feel within. Until then, I will probably just respond, "Well I don't FEEL tired!"

First of all I've just decided to grow out my gray. I'm liking the look on others. You will look awesome with the silver threads. But it's also your call. I've dyed my wool since I was 18 (off and on) and it mostly made me feel happier than my own color.

As far as someone saying you look tired - boo on that. Poke 'em with a fork and move on.


A wonderful post indeed Stephanie, well said and so true...I often just blame my disheveled lack of hair to my 'tired style';) But truly, your words spoke to my heart, as they often do, because I tend to say this to my husband and realize, although it comes from a caring place, that is not what needs to be said/ I will take this challenge and I thank you for this (& I bet he will too)!

You look like an amazing woman who is keeping a family well-tended, while still allowing herself to be herself - which is an amazing artist who ALSO happens to give fully of her talents and knowledge.
How's that?

Haha I AM tired. All the time. For various and sundry reasons. But I certainly prefer not to be verbally assaulted um I mean reminded of it by everyone. xxo

Maybe it is because I actually have met you in person, laughed at your jokes, and learned more than a few lessons from you in the one weekend I spent with you, but I would say that you look beautiful. Always. Because your eyes sparkle with mischief and dance with light. You inspire me always. And that is better than any $80 beauty creme anyday. Enjoy the day, Miss Stephanie! Erin

I stopped commenting on people's looks many years ago. There is just too much room to fuck it up. Because we are so much more than how we are on the outside. The very best thing to say is, "I'm so happy to see you." accompanied by a big hearty hug. we could all use one of those. tired. or otherwise. xo

I have been guilty of saying those words. To the ones I love and about whose lives/schedules/health I care deeply. The words are an acknowledgement of the fact that they are in overwhelm or are studying and/or working too hard or too long. And it shows. Just like I would not refrain from telling one of them that they have a giant booger stuck on their cheek, I will not refrain from lovingly acknowledging the look in their eyes that says something - whatever it is - is not quite right. These words have literally been a lifesaver - allowing and even inviting someone to pour out a heart sorely in need of healing. No, I don't go around making this comment to strangers or mere acquaintances. But a few well intended words to a person who is looking to be pulled from the water just prior to drowning has done no harm.

Stephanie - this post sure struck a chord with me! I'm not sure I ever really analyzed this phrase or thought about it too much but I do know I never like it when someone tells me this. :-) This was said to me recently and for some reason I felt defensive - and yes, many of the reasons on your list apply to me. I remember answering, "I look tired? I guess because I am.". :-) Thank you for giving your heart-felt insight. As Erin commented here, I've always thought you had a twinkle in your eye! ;-)

Never dye your hair! I am in the process of growing out my beautiful silver gray hair (totally gray now). It is me I am so tired if hearing people say, but you will look old, tired, washed out. No I look just as I am supposed to look. I am not putting harsh chemicals on my head and it makes me happy. Once you put the hair color on you are a slave to it. I went through a total soul searching time to make this decision, but in the end I knew I was spending more time and money on finding unaltered, non-chemical foods to put in my body, why was I putting harsh poisons all over it?
Now when someone comments (and this reply comes from too many unsolicited comments) I say, I am happy, this sounds like your problem.

Stay natural! My graying hair has always turned heads. People love it and I have actually inspired other women to go gray and they look great. Now, I read that the new hair fad is to actually dye hair gray. ...Can't quite figure that out, as I really liked my chestnut brown hair with it's front streaks. My mother used to home-dye hers and it was about three shades of something that makes me shiver at the thought. I can't be bothered with beauty salons, so I chose natural before I even got gray.

And for those people who say the three words, tell them "If you were a Super-Woman" too, you might look tired."

I don't often get to your blog, but when I do, the beautiful, soulful, OMG-I-can't-believe-the-way-she-speaks fills me up inside with good things. You are a bright light in the world and I love you for it.

I just love your blog! Always such a lift to read from a real woman! I had a couple friends who always greeted me with those 3 bad words and I felt the sting and an extra pile of bricks in my arms until one day I blurted out "I feel great! I'm getting older each day and my eyes are more puffy and this is how I look now and we're all just going to have to get used to it!" As my 5 children were growing up and people would say mean things to them we would talk about how that person must have been dropped on their head as a baby and aren't quite right now, so we need to just forgive them and move on. Kindness matters. Try to leave people a little more refreshed and stronger than when you found them.


You are priceless girl!
Gosh! and I might add to the 'full plate' scenario would be: 'You look like you have a lot on your plate...Can I eat it for you?'
Something about 'walking in another man's shoes' too.
I am in Jeanne Oliver's ning at the moment and I am enjoying it so much! I have filled my soul over there for sure. I will check out what you are offering on her site, as I may already be in the class where you are if it is a combined one.
There are so many talented artists and everyone of them has something beautiful and different to offer.
Have a lovely rest of the week! Keep shining as I know you will!

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