mostly useless

I slept 11 hours last night. That's nearly double what I usually get and I can't remember when the last time that happened. I swear it just activated a supressed part of me that is perpetually tired because I'm already so ready for a nap and I've only been awake for three hours. Instead of napping, I'm hitching the ponies up and we're headed to town. One of them is out of makeup and the other needs new pencil erasers. I guess the pile of pink ones in my stash of supplies won't work. They must be colorful.

The other morning - Tuesday , the day I woke up with a wicked sugar hangover - we all slept through our alarms just enough for the ponies to miss the bus. I drove them down the road where in the night someone had stuck our valley in the freezer and a haze of white sugar dusted everything. I stopped on the way home and looked at it up close. So pretty. How weird that the sky was the same white color. Were it not for the brown oaks and black-green cedars, I would have wondered if I was trippin' on all that sugar that surely must have traveled through my blood stream and coated my iris's and pupils and rods and cones.

I've been mostly useless all week. I woke up Saturday thinking I'd clean our bedroom. The dust and piles were bad. High and thick and everywhere. Bad bad bad. But the ponies were with friends and so theman and I went for a drive. It would be Monday then. Wait...I filled in at the chiropractic office that day. So Tuesday it would be. Tuesday I would clean the room. And I did...a little. I made some new piles that look like more mess but are actually sorted into "donate", "go in another room" etc. Here it is Friday and not much has changes to someone who doesn't see the drawers I've sorted, the closet I've reorganized, the office supplies I've purged (sigh...the office is STILL in our bedroom.) Progress HAS been made. It's just slow which is totally weird because I love organizing and purging and sorting and reconnecting with what I have and letting go of what I don't need. I think it's just because I've been so tired.

Theman sends me updates on his day. Funny pictures of things he's working on in the clean, heated, machine shop where he has been working these past few months. For a man of so few words - who can build things from wood and wear a toolbelt like nobody's business, he sure can knock my socks off with his ability to make sense of this kind of stuff. It's a wonder I have anything to offer him. I could chew the bedpost in half with my gratitude.

I love that I get to wake up every morning. I love that I have three incredible beings of light and love in my home. More if you include the pets...which I do. I love that the ponies are fearless and opinionated. I love that it all is so humbling and funny. Parenting and wife-ing is totally a live comedy routine in which you (I) feel like you are the only one in the crowd of actors who was thrown on the stage with no script and the director in the dark seat below points at you and shouts "IMPROV!! YOU! GO!"

 

 

Comments

[lorraine lewis]

I just adore you! You have such a sweet gift with words.

[Christina]

You take such beautiful pictures. Isn't nature grand! I have been mostly useless, but that has been because of a nasty cold that I got from my little colt this past week. I am planning on pulling out the plaster this weekend for some fun though....not too sick to start a art project.

Thank you for your beautiful post.

[carlanda williamson]

funny girlie! your posts are always a highlight! xo

[Rebecca Dean]

So often, you say what is in my heart! Thank you for having the gift of words to express what I (and I assume many others) are feeling.

Beautiful pictures, wow! Can I just say, WOW!