More and Less

It's been 325 days since I last posted here.

There's no merit to bringing you up to speed, to filling in the gap, to catching up. Too much has happened and in some ways everything is exactly the same as it ever was. The most interesting, beautiful bits are not arranging themselves into sensible sentences in my head just yet...which is probably a very good thing because I have found that one of the most difficult tasks for me to do is to try to honor with mere words what my very Soul is still learning to honor "enough".

I'm still me.

Only more.

More awake. More willing. More letting go of the chase. More receiving what I believed I had to chase. More bulk around my midsection. More love in my heart for people I care about. More yes. More no. More dirt ground into the carpets. More deciding. More knowing {and owning} what ancient wisdom calls my original medicine. More courage. More clarity. More grateful. More better.

There is some less-ness too.

Less afraid. Less needing things to be perfectly clear before I honor my instinct to step into the next right thing. Less craving approval from people who are still figuring themselves out. Less frustration. Less heartache. Less fear. Less staying on top of my to-do list. Less therapy and self help and trying to figure out where I am broken (my weaknesses are made strengths). Less dragging things out. Less holding back. Less making excuses (especially ones that misuse words like "intuition" and "triggers" and "authenticity"). Less waiting for a new website to come back to my writing here. Less putting disclaimers on what I feel deeply true for me by tentetavely prefacing sentences with "I think..."

More knowing in the spaces where my Soul has been preparing a room for my consciousness. Less knowing in all the ways that don't need knowing. All the ways that pretend to be reasons why something might not be working out the way I want it to and also all the reasons why something almost too good to be true "shouldn't" be happening. To me.

So, here I am 325 days older than I was last time I came here and there are deep and vibrant veins of gold that have been packed into the cracks. I have opened up to divinity in ways that are showing up big time in my day to day life.

Lots of prayer and visualizations and woo woo matched with logistics and accountability and action plans and a major humdinger of a kick-butt business leap. (Like, huge. Hard work + desire + saying yes.) Lots of getting stuff done. Lots of stepping up my game for me. For my family. For my Soul.

I'm so so so deeply grateful and full of complete resonance with Life telling me "I've been so excited to give this to you".

And I receive.